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Southwark Sugar from Anna Span
Reviewed by Stewart Campbell

At first glance you might be forgiven for taking this as an odd attempt at glorifying what some see as perhaps one of the worst parts of London, but producer & director Anna Span has a far greater plan ahead for the willing viewer…

Anna chooses to take us through a veritable roller coaster ride of Saahf London, couple-friendly shot porn, making sure that whilst no stone is left unturned, no viewer is left alienated. The choice of scene situations and actors make sure that everyone has something to relate to if not be turned on by.

The overwhelming key to this film is a focus on well groomed and well presented male actors engaging in some honest and eventually hardcore sex with hot London girls who give as good as they get.

In deciding to take a modern slant on a scene’s setup, at the start of the film we’re dropped straight in at the deep end with two utterly proactive women taking on their surroundings (the local market) and taking advantage of some of their more immediate surroundings (the local meat market’s best - South African stud Mark Marais).

The choice of UK/Euro scene icon Poppy Morgan and Jamie Brooks presents some great angles and differences in body styles, with each and every actor in the moment and genuinely wanting what they’re getting. Poppy’s stay-on boots lend a kinky angle to the scene and keep things adventurous, helped along by some brilliant positions and frantic fucking.

The first surprise of many in this feature comes in seeing how both starlets deal with the shower of come given to them. Worth watching with company.

Familiar sights to any Londoner grace an interesting intro for the next scene - Tate Modern Love - with some honest acting from Marais and Keira whilst sticking to the age old pickup routine favoured by many.

Marais remains honest and in character as he reveals the film-within-a-film angle of playing a porn actor. All the expected questions are asked (and from the girl) before the catch is engaged and gentle persuasion lends way to full on foreplay, but in a seamless fashion.

Full credit to Keira for keeping up the intrigue throughout the scene, even when tearing through her second orgasm and finally taking one of the best facials of the film.

UK performer Steve Hooper crops up yet again to remind us that this is a very British release, doing his level best to warm a chilly Vaida out of her clothes and into good old fashioned, grass roots gonzo fucking.

Clearly excelling when her mouth is full, Vaida takes a Steve’s cock to the best of her abilities, looking just about as pale as ever possible against Hooper’s perma-tan ‘body’. Director Anna Span’s influence rings clear again in her choice of casting a completely un-enhanced/all natural yet fully shaven actress who looks the part in an innocent, girl next door/girlfriend role. Another strong scene for couples.

Just in time to bring things back up to pace, we’re granted a girl/girl scene. Bambi & Rhiannon solve their early morning bedheadedness by indulging in some languorous oral, mutual masturbation and toy play. The couple perfectly compliment each other and look great together. A very genuine section of the film, shot both from a male & female point of view in providing what either would most want to see.

Quick to remind us of the truly stunning sights found in the nation’s capital, in the next scene Lee Henshaw plays a newcomer to the city being shown around a new apartment by the refreshingly real, yet alluring, Jayne.

Not even the display apartment’s fantastically placed vase of dying orchids can distract from the fact that this scene’s an absolute winner from beginning to end. The initial flirting is convincing and the immediate passion comes across as totally relevant, Jayne’s body is gradually revealed as being a highlight of Southwark Sugar with great choices in costume, the way she fucks against Lee’s hand is worth enough watching on its own.

Jayne’s arse simply cries to have come all over it and we’re awarded with exactly that. Don’t miss this brilliant scene!

Melanie's Swingers 2 from Melanies
Reviewed by Customer Reviewer

Have you ever watched a movie that you've liked so much that you wanted to tell everyone how great it was? We feel like that about a lot of the movies we watch here, and sometimes our customers do too. One SB customer was so impressed by this sexy swinger flick that he emailed us this review, as a thank you, we sent him two free movie tickets for Strictly Broadband.

If you'd like to get your hands on some filthy films for free and think you've got what it takes to be a porno critic, have a go at reviewing one of the Strictly Broadband movies (between 400 and 500 words) and send it to us at info@strictlynews.com. If we like it, we'll use it!

You want to see genuine “British Swinger” action?

What you will not get here are plastic enhanced Californian blondes deep throating and taking massive poles up the arse on a lavish set. Look elsewhere on this site if that is your bag.

What you do get is 90 minutes worth of your next-door neighbours, tattoos and all, sucking and fucking each other on a giant bed in a swingers’ club play room. They even take a time out for a breather and come back for second portions. Real value for your money.

Having just been to Erotica 2007 at Olympia, and met some members from various UK swinging clubs, this is a good cross section of the swinging community. Real people, all shapes, all sizes, having real sex, with some of them wearing ‘Lone Ranger’ style eye masks for ‘anonymity’ and a couple of large cocked black guys thrown in for good measure. Don’t judge, enjoy.

The men make the usual male efforts to ‘dress to impress’ – white towels mostly. The girls have got themselves up in a variety of gear, including a slinky PVC nurse outfit with zips over the tits, thighboots and some fantastic platform shoes.

Once past the introductions and a lot of nervous laughter, the team get down as Melanie eggs them on. The first 2 couples swap straight away for some oral. The handheld camcorders get right in up close to the cock, vibro, mouth, pussy and come shot action, giving us a great voyeur’s point of view. The soundtrack lets us know that a good time is being had.

Some big, voluptuous ladies watch close up, then get stuck in, feeding cock into another girl’s mouth and later pleasuring each other in some nice girls on girls scenes. Some huge, floppy tits here that you would just love to get your dick between. The other girls are not averse to muff munching either.

Meanwhile, we get plenty of nipple licking, vigorous finger fucking, cock sucking and doggy style action to keep our attention as we cut between the three camcorders. You’ll get to see wet dick sliding right up well lubricated fanny and some of the girls having a noisy orgasm. Along the way, the ladies get decent shots of the white stuff across belly and tits.

A couple of the girls, including nursie, decide that one dick to play with is just too, too boring. They are swinging, after all. They kneel on all fours for some spit roasting, getting off big time to the sensation of a prick in the mouth and another in the fanny.

For the grand finale, one girl takes a big, black cock in each hand and receives two great wads of come over her face. Shame we don’t get to see the spunk dripping off her chin. Maybe next time.

This movie is a must see, closely followed by the others in Melanie’s series.

Lezzie Friends from Interfact
Reviewed by Customer Reviewer.

Have you ever watched a movie that you've liked so much that you wanted to tell everyone how great it was? We feel like that about a lot of the movies we watch here, and sometimes our customers do too. One Strictly Broadband customer was so impressed by the film Lezzie Friends that he emailed us this review, as a thank you, we sent him two free movie tickets for Strictly Broadband.

If you'd like to get your hands on some filthy films for free and think you've got what it takes to be a porno critic, have a go at reviewing one of the Strictly Broadband movies (between 400 and 500 words) and send it to us at info@strictlynews.com. If we like it, we'll use it!

If you’re looking for the slick production of a Die Hard movie, or the direction of a Tarantino classic, then Lezzie Friends certainly won’t win any awards. However, if you’re looking for hot and busty glamour models licking and fingering each others holes, then this has to be the movie for you. Get in on the action and enjoy serious close close-ups, as close as close can get!

We’ve seen Kelly Bell’s fantastic orbs in The Sport on many an occasion, but now we get to see much more of her intimate areas. See Kelly get a good service from seasoned porn star and X Factor contestant Michelle Thorne, who expertly fingers Kelly’s shaven and pierced chuff using a 6” vibrator. Kelly returns the favour and fills Michelle’s neatly trimmed muff with a pink 10” dildo. Simon Cowell would say “You’re in” if he saw this! Lots of kissing, licking and slurping noises will get even blind viewers off with this scene alone.

Next scene sees bouncing Bonnie Simon and luscious Lindsay Pearce (get a load of those white high heeled boots!) on the sofa together. After kissing with tongues, Bonnie gets rid of Lindsay’s panties and the serious fun begins. She works that vibrator into Lindsay’s pussy, hard and deep. A quick change of positions sees Bonnie on her back, pussy spread and ready for Lindsay’s pierced tongue, before taking a red vibrator deep in her shaven flange.

The final scene sees Jane Whitehouse & Vicky Baxter (who we know better as Vicky Valentine) on the bed together. The action soon starts with Jane losing her panties ready for Vicky’s tongue. They’re soon joined by Rebecca Smyth who brings a selection of toys to the party. With Rebecca in the middle, she gets kissed, stripped and fucked by both girls, at one point taking two toys in her pussy. Then Rebecca bends them both over and fucks their pussies and arses at the same time in the ‘skiing’ position! Rebecca gets on her back and takes three toys delivered by the two girls. Rebecca obviously enjoys the attention as you hear her climax more than once. There’s lots of tongues licking pussies and arses in this scene.

So, seeing these busty babes in the papers is one thing, but seeing them in action like this is something else. So what are you waiting for? Go ahead – get your ticket to ride with Lezzie Friends.

Private Games from Boston Babydolls
Reviewed by Stuart

American label Boston Babydolls present a real gritty treat for fans of amateur sex in Private Games, a quick peep into the kinky fantasies of two everyday women who flaunt their exhibitionist streak by getting fucked on film.

We are first introduced to not-to-chubby redhead Vixen, who wants to fuck another man on camera and bring the video home for her cuckold husband to watch. Her fantasy is to be fucked by a well hung black guy but when she has to choose between two big dicked dudes, she decides that she's going to partake in her first two guy threesome instead.

Her two guys are straight on the case, sucking on a nipple each before repositioning themselves, one licking and massaging her bald pussy, the other on his knees with his cock firmly planted in her mouth. Pussy eating man emerges and treats Vixen to a two finger workout and is soon inside her bonking away as she continues to pull and blow on the other guy's lengthy member. Vixen can't quite manage to keep up the blowjob while being pumped full of cock but does make an admirable effort to keep jerking it nonetheless, this really adds to the whole reality that this really is her first threeway. She's then seen bent over and blowing the guy who's just fucked her as the second stud (a Pharrell Williams lookalike) takes her doggystyle before the guys swap over again, Vixen by now getting the hang of the suck/fuck combo.

The theme runs right through the 30 minutes of footage, the studs take turns inside her mouth and pussy, often simultaneously. The positions throughout never stray too far from missionary and doggy but this is reality sex after all, a refreshing change from the overused acrobatics in high-end porn. The Pharrell-a-like guy appears to cum in his condom inside Vixen but I couldn't make out whether the other guy (who by now has put on his specs!) cums down her throat and she swallows it without a trace or if this poor, and by now limp, stud missed out...

Next up single mum Angel, a genuine redhead, partakes in her exhibitionist fantasy of having a small group of men to play with and put on a sensual performance. She will have total control and will strip for the men, encouraging them to masturbate while watching her. If she feels like it, she will touch the guys, kiss them, suck them and maybe even fuck them. Looks like this trio of guys are in for a treat!

She begins by whipping out the cocks of the trio of humorous looking men, sits them down on a chair each, plays with their cocks for a bit getting them nice and hard then takes to her compact bed stage to further tease these salivating guys! Angel seductively eats fruit and plays with her nipples and clit for her audience before teasing their cocks a little further. After bringing out a large dildo and seeing to herself for a while, Angel singles out the fattest bloke of the bunch, blows him and fucks him before he goes down and munches on her pussy...and some grapes! He's soon got her bent over in a doggy fashion, pounding away before a quick change to a cowgirl position which sees out the fucking. The scene ends with the guys jerking themselves off to climax, the two voyeurs who missed out on Angel's pussy get a helping hand from the lady herself and pop, everybody's happy!

For the rawest, genuine amateur sex you can't go wrong with Private Games. The camera work is suitable shoddy with close up shots aplenty, the performers are clearly not your classic porno types and the action throughout is most certainly unrehearsed, evident by the 'fumbly' nature of all the sucking and fucking. This all goes to make one hot little first timer fuck flick where two everyday American lasses get to break from their possibly boring lives and live out their dirtiest fantasies!

Cathy's Diaries 9 from Pumpkin Films
Reviewed by Hellen

Cathy Barry is back, with another fun and filthy volume of her dirty diaries. This excellent British series has gone from strength to strength, which each release being eagerly anticipated by fans, and for good reasons indeed. This is top quality, cheeky smut, with Cathy showing exactly what makes her British number 1 adult performer.

Cathy's first adventure in filth takes place in a dental clinic. Not the sexiest location you'd think, but when you learn that nurse Cathy is going to be getting a good filling from four young studs, you can suddenly see the appeal of all that sterile white and stainless steel.

The dental student studs can't control themselves around the sedated Cathy, but their over-zealous groping wakes our horny heroine. These naughty boys could be in a lot of trouble, but Cathy wants a filling, so let's the lads off as long as they satisfy her sexual cravings.

As Cathy lies back in the medical chair, the four guys surround her, one doctor positions himself her her pussy, licking and fingering whilst Cathy goes cock crazy with her hands and mouth. Not many movies open with a gangbang, so it's fantastic to jump right into such hard action and even more fantastic to see Cathy enjoying herself so much.

It's almost impossible to talk about Cathy Barry without mentioning two things, first her famous boobs. The sexy, surgically-enhanced beauties (apparently named Bill and Ben by Cathy herself) dominate every scene, you cannot take your eyes off them as they bounce and sway around, and they clearly impress the male partners that Cathy encounters on her adventures. I've never seen so many men flock so eagerly to a pair of boobs! The other unavoidable Cathy cliche is her cheeky West Country accent. As has been mentioned before on Strictly reviews, it's incredible sexy hearing Cathy talk dirty with her soft accent. There's ample opportunity to hear Cathy chatting in the cute introductions to each scene, and yes, her accent is wonderful.

for the second scene Cathy goes to visit a friend in his country manor, their conversation about Cathy's line of work soon gets a rise out of this country gent and Miss Barry is certainly keen to give him a quick audition for a role in one of her adult movies. Jeeves, the butler, also gets the chance to join in in giving Cathy an upper class fucking. The very English gentlemen spitroast our busty star, keeping in character with OTT accents, and Cathy puts in a great oral and fucking performance.

A great Girl-girl scene is up next, with busty Miss Barry seducing her sexy hotel maid, who is non other than the super sexy, award-winning starlet Rio Lee. Rio's pierced nipples get a good licking, before Cathy dives down to Rio's shaven pussy and gets to work pleasuring this young slut. They get out some giant toys to fill Cathy's hungry pussy and the romp on the bed that follows sees Rio begging to cum - which she does, loudly.

It's a two cock treat for Cathy in the next scene because when two guys want to have a feel of her amazing tits she lets them get their hands on much more!

The two lucky fellas lavish attention on Cathy, focussing especially on her spectacular rack. Together they smooth oil over Cathy, leaving her all wet, shiny and slippery, and looking sexy as ever, before the real fucking starts and Cathy sucks cock and takes a pounding with style. The grand finale here is a dirty DP, that has Cathy moaning with pleasure as she's filled with two hard cocks. The lucky boys shoot all over her giant tits, covering Cathy in their spunk.

There's a nice little interview with the performers after this scene, which introduces Christian, a tall, tanned and shaven-headed American star whose come all the way from LA to work with Cathy. His co-stud for the shoot has worked with Cathy before and, as Phil-the-cameraman points out, has a giant cock. Both lads seem very happy to have worked with Cathy, and Cathy looks very happy after all the dirty shagging.

as the most famous porn star in the UK, Cathy gets approached by a lot of wannabe porn performers. For the final scene here she decides to give one such wannabe a go at shooting a scene with her, and Simon is the lucky guy chosen for the audition.

Looking amazing in a tight corset which pushes those impressive tits up and out, Cathy moans as tattooed stud Simon massages oil into her boobs. As he bends Cathy over the kitchen workshop, Simon appears to have what it takes to become a pro porn studs, until, it seems, he comes too soon. Cathy is one sexy lady, it's true. Turn out though, that Simon just needed a bit of a break to stop himself from shooting his load too early, and is back and ready for action in seconds. It gets too hot for this young lad again, so they take some time for him to pleasure Cathy with his fingers and the slippery oil.

This is a hot and almost amateur in style scene, it's so raw and real. Excellent stuff. I won't ruin all the details of how Simon's first shoot works out for him, you'll have to watch for yourself to see if this first time stud overcomes his early problems, but I'll say one thing - this scene is well worth checking out.

The film finishes with a Q&A session with Cathy herself. She speaks about the awards she has won, but since Cathy's Diaries 9 was released she's got another award to add to the list - she picked up a Lifetime Achievement Award at the Uk Adult Film Awards last week. Well done Cathy, you certainly deserve it!

The Taunting from Spice Studios
Reviewed by Hellen

The Taunting is described as an erotic SM thriller, and with it's Japanese horror aesthetic (think The Ring, The Grudge and similar scary movies) and awesome cast, it's a movie I've been looking forward to seeing for quite a while

It can't be easy to blend horror and sex - you don't want your viewers so scared or grossed out that they can't get aroused, but the spooky effects in this film are stylishly done and very atmospheric, giving every scene an edge of tension that makes each fuck session a heightened and haunting experience

Throughout the film, a long haired Asian girl - Lystra - creeps around in full horror make up, and combined with the artful sadomasochism, the excellent soundtrack and stunning camerawork and effects this creates a suitably scary feelings that does not detracts from the kinky fucking we're all here to see

The first scene opens on the stunningly dominant Gianna whose big boobs certainly dominate this scene. This lucky mistress has two beautiful girl slaves tied up for her pleasure. One is intricately bound in Japanese-style rope bondage, with her full breasts forced forward by the tight ropes wound around her chest. The other is tied with her hands above her head, exposing her tits and pussy to Gianna's wandering hands and large, red strap on. After teasing these fuck slaves, the horny domme decides she wants some real pussy action so demands that her hot Asian slave, Kaiya Lynn, release herself and do her best to satisfy Gianna's strap on urges. Kaiya climbs a top the plastic cock and follows her mistresses loud instructions to fuck the shit out of that dildo. In sleek and shiny fetish-wear, the two continue to pound away as the second slave dangles above them, trapped in tight rope and unable to move. Maybe she'll be staying there until Gianna feels like letting her down to play?

A second dominant woman takes control in the next scene, Amanda Emino blows smoke in the face of her submissive guy. This is a really hot scene as Amanda uses verbal domination to get her man doing exactly what she wants. And it seems that Gianna is not the only one who keeps tied up girls around the place, as at the end of the couch sits a cute girl bound and gagged in thick black rope. Her role is purely decorative, as Amanda gets a great hard fuck from her slave , demanding a hard performance from him in several positions, and rewarding him with oral action when he satisfies her orders. This slave boy has clearly done a good job as his beautiful mistress allows< him to come in her open mouth. Delicious

The ghostly Lystra leads us to the next scene, where the petite Kitty is being tormented by Daphne Rosen. The heat and chemistry between these two is unbelievable, as Daphne dominates Kitty with ease, in turn teasing and torturing her until they are both desperate to come. The moans of pain alternative with squeals of delight and even giggles, proving that both girls are having a fantastic time in this S&M flavoured fuck. Now, I'm not usually a big fan of girl-girl fucking, but this is red hot, especially when Kitty gets fucked with a dildo that's almost as big as she is. Her cute pussy is stretched so wide, and eager Kitty takes every inch of this large strap on, loving every second.

Cassidy Blue starts her scene by presses her delicate feet into the face of her slave and demanding he lick them, as she spits on his cock and rubs his cocks with her other foot. This highly erotic display of fetishism draws the attention of a young man who has been exploring the church haunted by Lystra and these depraved sex scenes, and he ends up on the floor, naked, with one of Cassidy's feet caressing his balls. The lucky guys get to move from toe to top, as they take turns filling Cassidy's mouth with their hard cocks, before she gives them a good work out by riding their cocks hard. Pounding not just her pussy but her tight ass too. This blonde babe looks blissfully happy as she lies back with one cock in her pussy and the other in her mouth and while this scene is not as hard as some of the others, the action is very sensual and equally arousing.

We then see the unstoppable and always sexy Katja Kassin, she's got her fella all chained up, but that doesn't stop her giving him a super hot blowjob and releasing him for a high powered fuck. Katja is an amazing performer and a super sexy girl, and you'll love every second of her intense performance in this scene. She energetically bounces up and down on her well-hung stud, and encourages him with loads of dirty talk as he fills her hot ass with his length. If you've not seen Katja in action before, you need to check this out, and if you're already a fan, well, you won't want to miss this either!

The film finishes with a young couple being initiated into the dark world of fetish hardcore, where a stern but gentle dominatrix teaches them the fundamentals of submission and kinky sex. This threesome with a hint of kink is an excellent finish to a fantastic film.

If you're bored of no-frills Gonzo, but complex plots and long conversations of features don't turn you on, The Taunting could be the film you're looking for. Whilst it's not quite a plot-less pure sex movie, it wastes no time (or chat) in getting straight down to business, an the innovative and stylish approach to the sex scenes is sure to keep you interested. A classy, kinky alternative to sex on the sofa!

Have Dick Will Travel from Your Choice.
Reviewed by Jade

British porn movie genius One Eyed Jack brings you a titillating series of scenes as he and top UK babes such as Michelle Thorne and Naughty Nicki, take their cars to the roads of Britain and enjoy some naughty action - of course it doesn't just stop in the cars...These girls are some of the filthiest around, Michelle Thorne is a very popular British porn star, having starred in many magazines such as 'Knave' and 'Mayfair' - but in this movie she's also having her FIRST anal experience with her rather well hung boyfriend so that should prove interesting. Leave it up to good old Jack to bring you the dirtiest British porn movies!!

First in front of the camera is the lovely Michelle and her well hung stud getting down to action. It starts of quite uniquely, the camera is being pointed through the letter box to watch Michelle clean the dishes in her underwear! Soon her and her boyfriend are in the kitchen and she's down on her knees sucking cock, how she gets her mouth around it God only knows as it's bloody big. When I was told he was quite well endowed I thought yeah, can't be that big, but I'm eating my words as I watch this now! The favour was soon returned as Michelle's legs were spread and her panties pulled to the side. Her pussy was licked until she was ready for some harder action - like her boyfriends cock fucking her hard. It's not long before she gets two fingers inside her, one in her pussy and the other preparing her asshole for a good, hard fucking - for the first time! She took it quite well, I remember my first time hehe! She's soon up on her knees and her boyfriends driving his cock into her asshole with One Eyed Jack gets some really good footage of her taking it in the ass! Soon the couple disappear into a little room outside which we soon realise has a fuck swing in it! I won't spoil the surprise of a fuck swing if you haven't seen one before but it sure made the ending quite an interesting one.

Another excellent scene presents us a lady called Jan, a cheeky blonde with nice tits and a great figure. Jan's soon stripped off and so is her stud and she's down on her knees with his cock being rammed into her mouth, not that she minds, I can tell this blonde is dirty and we aren't even ten minutes into the film yet! This scene is quite a quick one actually, no sooner is she sucking his cock, having her pussy licked and is she then fucking him on the makeshift bed on the floor. Even in the midst of riding him Jan manages to flash a cheeky grin at the camera, I really liked this girl and this scene. Not as long as the others but full of cheeky sexual antics with the lovely Jan.

This next scene is rather adventurous! It starts of with One Eyed Jack and Barbara in the car and he pulls over into the hard shoulder of the motorway so that they could get dirty - yes, with all the other cars flying past their windows! They didn't care though and Barbara soon got her clothes off sucked Jack's cock and then in a flash they were carrying on their merry way. When they get to where they were going Barbara is totally naked inside the apartment and she takes on not just Jack but a friend of his too. As she sucks his friend's cock he's working his fingers into her tight cunt and fucks her pussy. There is so much action in this video. Barbara takes it all. She takes fingers in her asshole, pussy and mouth, cocks in all these places too! She's quite the slut if you ask me. It's not long before the three of them are on the floor with Jack in her pussy and his friend fucking her asshole. Quite the menage a trois! With lots of action, this is a really good scene, it's not serious, it's sex and it shows.

The last scene I want to tell you about is the group fuck-fest, one of the best group sex scenes I've seen. The girls get to work in the car, before they even get to their room, the slip of their thongs and start to play with their pussies, while the guys try to concentrate on watching the road and watching the cunts in the back! The girls take it upon themselves to strap on a dildo and start to fuck each other, what a great way to warm up before an orgy huh! They finally get to where they want to be and no one wastes any time in getting their kit off and down to business. When I say it's an all out fuck-fest, I really do mean that it's an all out fuck-fest! We have threesomes on the sofa, gymnasts suspending girls in mid air for a rather strange oral session and even good old Jack gets in on the festivities. Not only does it look like everyone is totally fucked but they are all really enjoying themselves, it's not work, it's not a play to the camera, it's real group sex as it's best and I think the best scene of the film.

There are a couple of other scenes I haven't mention with British girls doing horny sexy things and of course the bonus behind the scenes scene at the end of the movie but I think I've covered enough of what these filthy British girls get up too, and these filthy British men too of course! I really enjoyed the nitty gritty hardcore action in this film. It wasn't scripted, it was real Brit couples getting really dirty and I think that's what made it what it was!

 

Mini Me (Verne Troyer) Sex Tape

GoMiniMe.com

Verne Troyer known as "Mini Me" from Austin Powers movies has made his own sex tape.

GoMiniMe.com

Not Another Porn Movie! from Adam and Eve Pictures
Reviewed by Stuart

In the tradition of Hollywood spoofs such as Scary Movie and Not Another Teen Movie, Burning Angel boss and uber-hot Alt queen Joanna Angel directs and stars in the porn world's smutty equivalent, Not Another Porn Movie. Porn has always borrowed from and poked fun at mainstream Hollywood in the past but this, at least to my knowledge, is the first 'parody of a parody' and it's non-stop hilarity and intentional cheese all the way. Cliché after cliché is crammed into the films five scenes, as well as some of the finest talent from planet Alt engaging in hot, in-your-face sex that never bores. Director Joanna plays, well, a director, flustered by frustration after frustration as she battles to make a movie that is hindered by hapless studs, anti-porn protesters, broken props and everything else that could go wrong!

The first scene features the classic pizza delivery scenario with Tommy Pistol turning up at blonde hottie Pinky Lee's house to pass on her sausage pizza (it could only be this particular flavour, of course) to her. This being porno, Pinky is so scantily dressed she appears to be without her wallet and so proceeds to give the pizza lad an alternative to hard cash - her made-for-sucking mouth and perfect pink pussy. We get the classic blowjob opener, Pinky showing what a skilled sucker she is as she wraps her lips round Tommy's lengthy member which is more than ready to dip inside her slippery slit. Doggy-style and reverse cowgirl are the main positions manoeuvred here, the couple only stop their fuck-fest to exchange oral pleasures before continuing their steamy session before the scene comes to an end when Pinky receives a warm dosage of ball goo in her mouth.

Tommy is due back on set to perform as a cable guy but when he turns up at the wrong address, Joanna calls on the services of James Deen to fill up her impatiently waiting porn starlet Pixie Pearl. This scene wastes no time in getting to the point, after some deep dick swallowing, James is straight inside Pixie's ass, thrusting away at her bunghole as she rubs her clit and groans with lust. Again the action is non-stop, only breaking when Pixie goes for a taste of her ass juices from James rod. She's soon begging for cum and James is more than happy to spray a load of sticky stuff over her shapely body which she proceeds to rub in.

When a stressed out Joanna gets into her office, slutty secretary January Darling offers a way to help her relax, treating Joanna to a back massage that as you can imagine leads to a lot more! After a brief interruption from Tommy (who's told to jerk off in the corner) and once the film crew clear the desk, Joanna is straight onto January, sucking her tits, fingering her pussy and making her taste her juices before being bent over and licked and rub in her most intimate hole. A dildo is brought into play soon enough which both girls suck on before it is plunged inside January's pussy amid her moans of sheer pleasure. Being sharing, caring kinda girls they switch and it's Joanna's turn to experience some finger fun and cunt munching. The scene climaxes with Joanna having her pussy worked with a dildo while having a butt plug bunged up her ass for good measure. The films only lesbian scene, and a scorching one at that.

Jade Jolie plays the naughty nurse next and visits sick Tommy Pistol's bed to see to his needs. Unfortunately, the hospital is all out of medicine but Jade knows a way that'll make Tommy feel so much better, you guessed it, some good hard sex. There's a short blowjob then it's straight onto the pounding, Jade riding his cock in both cowgirl, reverse cowgirl then taking it from behind for a deep doggy-style doing. A slight mishap occurs as Tommy is slamming her from behind when the bed's headboard comes off, no need to stop the action though, the couple continue their raunchy ride as Joanna and the crew try to sort out the situation. Tommy begins getting crazy with props such as aspirin, toilet paper and a bunch of flowers while fucking pinky blonde Jade, adding much mirth to the scene, but business returns to seriousness soon enough as he drops a load of the sticky stuff right into her eager mouth and it's a wrap!

Poor Joanna has had quite a day by now and to add further insult, upon leaving the office she is hounded by a mob of angry anti-porn protesters who she finally evades only to find that her car won't start and she's gonna have to get a tow truck. To Joanna's surprise the tow truck guy is none other than James Deen who informs her, “I think there's something wrong with your tailpipe, I have just the tool to fix it”. Cocksucking and front bum fucking ensue but soon James is stretching her asshole to the limit as he pumps her butt full of meat. Joanna is looking stunning throughout, not only has this girl helped shape the Alt revolution in a major way from her productions, she also gives one hell of a fuck on film.

It's good to see a porno film that is genuinely as tongue-in-cheek as this, sadly most the themes covered here are done in all too seriousness by other filth peddlers who lack even the slightest original idea so this style of incorporating clichés in a comedy manner is more than fresh, very welcome and fucking funny. It's hard to fault Not Another Porn Movie, five scenes all featuring everything you'd expect to see in a porno coupled with a non-intrusive humorous storyline, it's pure entertainment from beginning to end. Watch it alone, with your partner or with a group of mates over some beers, Not Another Porn Movie has something for everyone. And there's even an in-house band performing the soundtrack amid all the hot fuck action, nice touch!

Country Matters Part 1 from Film Erotica
Reviewed by Jade

Country Matters - when I hear that I instantly think of European or American girls versus the hearty British girls. I was very wrong. Tiffany Kingston, Renee Richards, Amber Leigh and Karlie Simon are presented to you in a mass of fields, steam locomotives and stags - or should that read studs? Anyhow, this movie decides to show us that location is as important in sex as it is in buying a house. Ok maybe not that important but hell, if you see ladies strolling around in fields playing naked football you're instinctively going to want to live there right?

In scene one we are met with three of our stunning stars as they disembark from a traditional steam train in what looks set to be a traditional quaint English village. The sun is shining and they visit the sweet shop, the tourist info centre and then the castle...Then it all stops. The sun disappears and it starts to pour with rain. Then three girls are two as they decide to try and hitchhike home. As the girls walk down a pathway they run into a man standing the woods and for a laugh, yeah just a laugh, they decide to get down on their knees and suck his cock. After that guys spunks in their mouth they head on down the road and lucky them, they manage to catch a lift. In return for the guys generosity they decide to give him a blowjob and ride him in his car...And that's not all, lady number three turns up in the last 5 minutes of the scene and gets a spanking from an angry man she's stole strawberries from...It's a funny old world.

Scene three sees the gardener come in to start a fire and them promises to make on of the fiery blondes sweat. Of course he means that literally and slides her thongs to the side and starts to lick out her pussy before making her gag on his cock. Then they get down to business and fuck doggystyle on the sofa, then fuck on the table and then fuck over the fireplace...Then, she even gets her ass fucked. Once he's fucked her in the ass he spunks inside her and then they wait for it to come back out - and they wait, and they wait and then wait some more. They eventually came to the conclusion that the little slut somehow ate it.

Scene two and four contain lots more blondes having sex with gardeners and other such utility men that you find out in the country side as well as a group session. It turns out that when this movie was made the Country didn't matter at all, the County did. Funny thing that.

Overall a good movie, a couple of irritating parts like when the gardener wouldn't stop talking and then they finished of scene 3 with the girls in the bath together and didn't finish that fantasy of for us though that's not really a problem with the film, just my dirty mind...

Bountiful Boobs from Smash Pictures
Reviewed by Jade

Smash Pictures presents you Bountiful Boobs, starring sexy, busty ladies Karma, Alexis Silver, Kat Kleavage, Donita Dunes, Patricia and Kiki Daire. Nothing beats a busty lady getting bent over and shagged with those giant bouncing boobies banging away in front of them - or even better, getting a cock slammed down the back of her throat and then thrust in between her cleavage. Bountiful Boobs brings you some of the dirtiest, hardcore boob action going so let's start with scene one, Gag Order.

So Gag Order, interesting title for the scene. Alexis Sliver starts the scene of receiving a 'gag order' for some jury service, this order prohibits her from speaking about the case and if she does, she gets gagged. Well, does the guy not explain to her exactly what he means about being gagged? She's soon got his dick rammed down her throat and she sure is gagging as he pushes it straight down her throat until she gags all over his cock. Then, he thrusts his cock in between her boobs so she can tit fuck him. As well as the gagging and the tit fucking, like most hardcore movies, they try out a variety of different positions with Alexis' bouncing boobs flying everywhere! When it comes to the cum shot Alexis gets down on her knees and opens up her mouth to receive a trickle of spunk - I wish it was more and her big tits could have got covered in the stuff but oh well. One thing that annoyed me about this scene was the funny angles that the camera would just switch in, made me feel as though I was losing out on some of the action although there was plenty there to keep me going.

I'll come back to the second scene in a minute but I have to tell you about scene 3, it was my favorite. It should really have been called Mall Whore - it starts of with a sexy brunette in her tight pvc outfit telling her husband she's going out to the mall. Of course she's got her tits hanging out and everything on show so it gets a bit heated. He starts shouting at her telling her he's going to stick his dick in her mouth and he does. She deepthroats him and she gags all over him, obviously he loves it so keeps her going and I think she loves it too! At this point I have counted 4 piercings on this girl! Kinky! He spits inside her pussy and gets her ass warmed up for the anal by fucking her pussy - what a funny little scream this girl has. So after she's had her ass pounded her husband then sticks himself inside her asshole and fucks her (with that funny little scream she has) in all sorts of positions, every now and then pulling out so she can lick her own ass juice and then cums all in her mouth. The only 'downside' to this scene was the horrible cheesy music played throughout! Definitely my favorite scene - I don't do anal personally but well, it's quite 'interesting' to watch!

WIth six scenes in all I figure I should let you in on scene number six! It starts of with a busty blonde vixen giving her tits a good going over, showering them in kisses and licks. Her hands move slowly down her body to rub her pussy and after 5 minutes of self gratification a head pops up and licks her pussy! Lucky girl! She returns the favour and sucks his cock quickly getting on top of him to ride him, her big bouncing boobs flying everywhere.

There were a couple of scenes with cheesy music, some rather strange angles and of course that odd screaming from the girl in scene 3! But the main focus of the movie was the boobs, they were flying everywhere and it made for a very enjoyable hour or two! Longer than most movies but certainly no less entertaining.

I Only Love... Fucking Berlin from Private
Reviewed by James

First the bad news: our sexy hostess for this film, Ioni e does not actually fuck on the screen. Which, given that we get to see her cracking body in a variety of outfits, is a damn shame because she is fucking cute. The things I would do to that girl, I cannot begin to tell you – well actually I could but this isn’t about the perverted things I would like to do to porn stars. That’s an upcoming article. This is about the film, and here’s the good news, clearly realising that one stand-in simply will not do Ionie brings a whole bevvie of beauties to screw on screen for your viewing pleasure. Ace.

The film opens with us arriving at Venus, Berlin's biggest sex show which appears to be populated solely by people with pixels instead of faces. Odd. Ionie and Natalia, a hard-bodied blonde, wander round in tiny black outfits recruiting these pixelated punters to come watch a public fuck-show. If you can’t be arsed to watch that skip forward to 5min.45sec – there we go. Natalia and Dougie get down to in on a leather couch whilst being watched and filmed. Well, Nat gets down to it; Doug mainly just sits there. Hell, you don’t interrupt a professional at work. After blowing him for a few minutes Natalie gets him to make her pussy wet so the can get to the fucking in earnest. Which they do, Nats big boobs spill out everywhere as they fuck and suck each other to helpful directions from the crowd; “Move her hair!” “Fucking suck that cock!”

But there is no cum-shot! Bastard security move them on. Denied!

Fortunately Ionie knows what we want and moves the action to a hotel room, stopping only for her to change into a sexy slip and Natalia into outfit made entirely of straps. Works for me. Dougie stays with his nothing-but-a-thin sheen of sweat look. Incidentally Doug flaunts porn tradition by being not ludicrously muscled, not sporting tattoos, being good looking and actually having some pubic hair! Yes he has a dick that makes me cry a little when I look to my own lap but still- nice to see a male porn star who doesn’t look a) like a bowl of lard with a huge shlong or b) like he would put his fist right through your chest if you looked at him wrong in a bar.

Nat sucks Doug back to hardness whilst Ionie films, gives directions and bitches about the security. She sucks him so big that he can’t fit into her pussy (I told you he was impressive. Sob.) Doug and Ionie add spit, “nature’s lube”, and he moves inside her for some great fucking. They switch positions and Nat works herself into coming whilst riding his cock. Not to be outdone Doug gets on top of her and fucks her really hard to get himself to the edge before pulling out and giving her a mouth and faceful of cum which she eagerly spreads over her face as she cleans him off.

Then we're back to the punters, if you like watching hot girls make foreigners uncomfortable “Wanna see a lez show? Do you?” and watching some male pole dancers then cool. Otherwise skip forward to 5min 30sec and we’re back to the couch for some girl-on-girl. Ionie has picked up another blonde for Nat to work on. Lots of showy, aggressive, fingering and pussy-licking. The pixelated people look pleased. Finding themselves a strap on (which isn’t hard. They’re at a sex festival for fucks sake) Nat takes the domme role having her friend suck her pseudo-dick before bending her over and giving her a seeing to. Nat does her from behind, make her bounce up and down on her strap-on and finishes by having all the juice licked for it.

The third scene make a mockery of the title as it’s in London. Does no-one respect semantics? Regardless Ionie wanders the streets with camera and sex toy and intimidates some apparently random guy, Bob, into coming to fuck. Three minutes in and we meet Sabrina a filthy-talking, anal-loving brunette in fishnets. She plays with herself whilst talking dirty with Ionie. Seven minutes in and Bob appears to lick and play with Sabrina. Bob earns himself a blowjob with lots of spit and gagging. Bobs, uh, size, control and that fact that he’s totally shaven make me doubt that he’s actually some guy off the street but hell; I’d like to keep my dreams and he gives a good show. First from behind then Sabrina sits astride him then a showy missionary, all with loud gasping and moaning (from her, not him) before he cums all over her boobs.

Back on the streets for scene four, Ionie gets back to her porn-mugging then, 2min.30 in, we’re introduced to Angel Long; assumedly named for her legs and blond hair. Angel, very cute in pink, fucks herself with a dildo to get ready for Terry, a ‘random’ black guy who wastes no time in licking Angel’s pussy. After getting her good and wet he spreads her legs and gives her a fucking. Angel moans and talks dirty before Terry is whisked off so that Angel can work on another girl. But Terry is not to be denied and seeing Angel patented mouth-dildo-pussy trick I can’t really blame him. The three of them lick and suck before Terry takes Angel from behind then pulls out and cums in her mouth. Angel and friend play with the cum, blowing bubbles and rubbing it into themselves.

Now if you’ll excuse me I’m off to wander the streets to look for a roaming porn star with a camera. Hey, it could happen.

Deviant from Harmony Films
Reviewed by James

You know the problem with a lot of porn these days? Aside from the Austrian nad-eating virus that’s plaguing the industry, obviously. A lot of porn these days is too… clean. Chirpy teens in cute outfits get lured into stripping and screwing. Fun, sure and you get the cum-blasting at the end but it’s still just not dirty enough, y’know? Not PORN enough. It’s just not the dirty, filthy, hardcore porn that makes you feel unclean in that way that’s just SO good. Well fret you not filth-lovers ‘cause this is just for you.

We start with some creepy music in an industrial looking factory. Chains, smoke and chunky bits of equipment are lit up by neon strip lights. This is some hardcore metal working factory. This is the sort of factory Blade would stalk into before he killed 15 vampires and an evil puppy. This is a damn cool looking factory in other words. We then move to lovely pair of stocking-clad legs in some bright red fuck-me stripper shoes waking into an office. The camera pans up to reveal an office worker Keira, with a face and body every bit as good as the legs suggested. She’s looking at pictures of men “hard” at work (there’s a pun there. Did you see it? HARD at work, no? I despair of you people.) and enjoying herself with fingers and a bright pink vibrator.

But hell, downstairs in the factory are any number of half-naked buff young steelworkers with massive cocks. (Only men with hefty packages are allowed to work in this factory. HR policy.) Enough of this self-pleasure, girl, get your beautiful little arse downstairs! Soon Keira, looking fucking gorgeous in stockings knickers and blouse (no bra. Another HR policy. Bras get caught in the machines. S’true.) is sucking on some prime steelworker meat. Her bright red secretary glasses match her lipstick and shoes and enhance her eyes as she gazes up into the camera. First one guy then two and she’s soon sucking them both as the faintly creepy music plays. She gets stripped and oiled, all the while sucking cock before being ass-fucked by, uh, some steel balls on a stick. I have no idea what good they are in a steel work sense but they certainly do the job on her as the goggled steelworker takes them to her arse. A giant metal dildo then gets used on her wet pussy before the steelworker decides that it’s his turn at her. She then gets strapped upside down for an upside down spit-roast- her cute body swinging in a harness as she takes cock at either end. Finally she’s bent over to get drilled and then spunked in the ass.

A really red hot, filthy dirty, sexy scene, the blokes made nicely anonymous in goggles and smudges of engine oil with the stunning lass getting fucked between then. Awesome.

Blonde Alicia Rhodes , very sexy in black corset and stockings, is whipping and teasing her tattooed slave. Tied to a rack he gets lashed with a cat o’nine tails, flicked with a riding crop before taken in his mistress’s mouth. Hard. Now I’m not into submission myself but the hot deep messy blowjob she deals out would almost be worth the cock spankings. Almost. Still - I don’t have to endure them, I just enjoy the show - you go girl! Putting her man on a collar she forces (well, I say forces, doesn’t take much) him to lick her ass and pussy and fuck her with a mouth-mounted dildo.

The action then splits - half the time we see Alicia get her ass stretched by a glass dildo but inter cut with a very cute little maid Gem Sparkle giving pleasure to a besuited man. On reflection I’d totally prefer to be the guy in the former bit of this Pleasure/Pain palace. He fingers her and inserts a curly pig tail butt-plug into her pert ass which then bobs up and down as she sucks him off. Very wrong but still pretty damn hot. The scenes then merge with Mistress Keira arriving to yell encouragement and suck the maids pussy-juice from the business man’s cock. Then things jump back and forth so it’s a little confusing who’s fucking who and when, the maid having ditched her costume for a black corset. Nonetheless the action is all hard and graphic with close-ups of ass and pussy-fucking before the money-shots.

Another split scene - we start with very sexy brunette Lolly Badcock hangs upside down naked but for long black rubber boots and belt. Her boobs and shaven pussy are nicely on display. A red-rubber (and beret) clad Michelle Thorn arrives to shove her crotch into Lolly’s face. Well you would, wouldn’t you?

Things then go to a fully masked, crucified man being teased by a black mistress in a red beret (standard issue for this dungeon), white fishnets and a pink rubber.. I don’t know what it is. Dress? Corset? Bodystocking? Whatever, it looks fucking great, the pink highlighting her chocolate breasts and bottom as she bend over to suck cock.

From here action splits between the two: Lolly gets tied-up again, this time in a skimpy Catwoman outfit to get caned, spanked, fingered and dildoed by her blonde captor, yelling and gasping all the while. That’s the way to deal with Catwoman, Batman. Hope you’re listening. Halfway through Michelle spreads her legs… and pisses on the floor. How random. But toilet break is over and Michelle swaps the dildo to Lolly’s ass before putting her over a stand up glass dildo to fuck herself to orgasm. Not to be outdone Michelle uses a huge red dildo to fuck her own pussy.

Whilst this is going on we flip to blind man-slave who’s eagerly licking his black mistress’ pussy. Given he can’t see he makes a damn fine job of it too. This is a man who could find the clitoris by taste alone. Shame on you rest-of-the-male-population. He moves on to her asshole (by design, I’m assuming) and tongues her out as she moans before swapping headgear (difficult to aim when your blind) to give her a proper fucking and cums over her ass. Filthy and fantastic.

The next scene, titled Dominance Submission starts with our sub Elle Brook - a naked, blindfolded girl vacuumed in between rubber sheets like a sexy carbonited Han Solo. (Have no clue what I’m talking about? YOU need to go to more fetish clubs, my friend! That or have more perverted thoughts about Star Wars. Either works.) She’s being fondled by the Dom Michelle B-, a big-titted blonde in a Military Cap.

Action (again) splits to a pert ass and cunt being given electric shocks from a violet wand. The owner of the ass moans and touches herself as her bum and pussy-lips are shocked before she’s fucked. I’m pretty sure she’s our sub from the sheet but who can tell. After being shocked she’s moved to a cage where in a really great section she sucks on the dicks that are shoved through the bars. Later released she’s fucked and cum over.

Meantime Michelle has found herself a bound up guy who she fondles and beats with a crop before sucking his dick down (still in the cap. Looks cracking.) before having him fuck her ass. Another man enters (presumably from another scene) to fuck her mouth while her ass is taken. There’s some really pounding action before she wanks spunk into her waiting mouth.

This is all really high quality stuff. The sets, the music is good, the costumes are perfect and the girls all damn sexy. Plus the masks and goggles on the guys really worked for me. I have to admit that personally I wasn’t a huge fan of the jumping between two sections in the scenes every 5 odd minutes as the smoke, darkness and graphic shots meant it was a hard to follow what was going on. But that minor niggle aside it’s excellent high end, dirty, filthy, perverted stuff. Rubberiffic.

2 new sites for you

www.britbird.com

www.nakedcritic.com

Tracey's Bored Local Housewives 2 from Tracey's Home Video
Reviewed by Bayleaf

Quite what Tracey was thinking when she named this series is hard to fathom. The local housewives featured here look anything but bored as their pussies get treated to tongue and cock. Viewers of the first part will be familiar with some of the the cast: Nicky, who was so nicely fucked in part one, continues on the bed with Tracey, while young Jade-from-Scotland lets the boys fuck her this time.

British housewives differ from their American cousins in several ways. US MILF's are generally tanned, toned, surgically enhanced and often under 25. Indeed one can watch an actress in a teen scene one day and in a MILF series the next. Here in the UK our mums are pink, they have big pink titties, nicely shaped pink legs and pink tummies that attest to their motherhood. British housewives also sound like they're being fucked, they make gasping and grunting noises from their throats rather than a nasal whine and the constant instruction "oh, oh, fuck my pussy" from an LA bedroom. So when Tracey's bored housewives fuck they gasp and groan, a lot.

The programme opens with Jade-from-Scotland, who gives her name to camera in a way that makes you feel that she was christened that way, introducing herself wherever she goes as Jade-from-Scotland. Young Jade is a little out of place here as a bored housewife, since she looks no more than twenty and perfectly capable of having a good time with the boys. The school uniform she wears, sitting on a couch, is hardly current day-wear and it doesn't stay on too long when she introduces two lads. Quick as a flash she has their long, slim cocks out and in her mouth as the boys strip. Jade sucks cock with some skill and as both boys rise to the occasion Jade looses her shirt and bra. The larger of the two boys eventually pops on a condom and Jade pulls her white panties aside and slides down onto his cock in reverse cowgirl. Jade takes both boys in a variety of positions both on the sofa and the bed. Naked but for her white socks, Jade fucks the boys doggy-style with one at each end, in a natural way which highlights the youth of the performers.

In the second scene big and busty Jane promises that her young partner is going to fuck her brains out. Jane, in white shirt, black skirt and hold-ups sits on the edge of the bed and takes her naked partner's cock in her mouth and then, suitably hard, completes Jane's instructions. Having lost her top and panties, Jane lies back to be fucked missionary, then in most positions, ending up in just black holdups with her big pink bum in the air getting cummed over. The scene ends with a closeup of cum sliding down Jane's big smooth pink pussy, nice.

Jade returns with her two friends on a bed but this time the action is strictly oral, ending with the boys wanking over her face.

At the start of the fourth scene Nicky, naked apart from thick white holdups, takes the cameraman to the bathroom to squeeze out a little pee before returning to the bed for a girl-girl action with Tracey. The girls undress each other for some decent pussy munching and fingering before Tracey shoves a large green rabbit-style vibrator into Nicky and continues to keep it switched on - and Nicky turned-on - for the rest of the scene.

Finally Lana, a plain auburn-haired woman with a firm body and perky little tits, is partly undressed from her little black dress before telling her partner that he can fuck her in any position he wants, so he does. On the sofa and on the floor Lana gets fucked in most positions in her black stockings an suspenders.

Some scenes are shot in natural light and others using studio lights but the action is always clear with decent camerawork. In several scenes Tracey is on hand to take the stills, and she joins in the spirit of the production by wearing just black panties and holdup stockings. The outtakes at the end cover the action from both parts of the series so far with Nicky getting fucked.

Fans of British housewife action will not be disappointed and with a little more boy/girl action here this is an improvement on volume one.

Fucky New Year from Private
Reviewed by Hellen

Parties always make for a great setting for an erotic movie, all that drinking and flirting leads to people lowering their inhibitions and anything can happen at the end of the night, Private know this, so they've set their latest release at a glamorous New Years Eve party, where everyone's keen to start 2008 with a bang (or, more precisely, a gang bang) The champagne is flowing, the dresses are tight and low cut and everyone is horny as hell.

In true Private style, all the girls in this film are unbelievably beautiful with stunning bodies and a flawless glamour that you don't really see in other porno films. The way that their purr their dialogue and dirty talk with strong European accents just makes them all the more attractive.

The storyline focusses on several couples who are all attending the same New Years bash, we follow their shagging and seductions in the run up to midnight, and at twelve they all come together for a massive fuckfest to celebrate the new year. Sounds good to me.

The first couple we meet are in the bathroom, getting ready to head out to the party. A beautiful blonde is at the mirror, fixing her make up and bickering with her partner. He suggests they fuck to celebrate the end of the year and although his girl seems somewhat reluctant to agree, she's soon on her knees and sucking cocks with much enthusiasm.

Bouncing up and down on his cock as they perch on the edge of the bath, this dirty girl looks amazing with her flawless body and gives some great head, licking and sucking on his balls and filling her mouth with his cock - whilst keeping her make up perfectly intact!

The party is getting started in the next scene, and in the cloakroom one couple are removing more than just their coats. This pair of sexy brunettes can't keep their hands off each other for very long and they kiss passionately as they remove each others clothing. This sultry dark-haired lass has a great pair of tits, not too big and certainly not to small, and they look fantastic as she gets fucked in reverse cowgirl. This gorgeous girls talks dirty a bit as well - demanding a taste of his cock fresh from her pussy and telling us how much she loves it - and that's sure to keep some of you very happy. If the idea of shagging in the coat room at a busy party isn't enough of a turn on for you, this couple indulge in some anal action amongst the coats of their fellow party goers. A very hot idea as far as I'm concerned. The anal fucking is long, hard and very sexy, even including a dirty bit of ass-to-mouth. This slut is clearly very horny!

Of course, at most parties there's always someone who does something they shouldn't, and here it's two people meeting for a shag they shouldn't be sharing. Both at at the party with their partners, but they meet in the toilet for a discreet shag.

It's that beautiful blonde from the first scene, back and betraying her rude boyfriend in this very hard and sexy scene. She's screaming with pleasure as she fucked hard, her pretty party dress pulled up to reveal her partially shaved pussy with it's cute strip of remaining hair.

Their shag is hard and passionate, with ass spanking, deep thrusting and some pounding anal fucking. Hot stuff. Again, if you bear in mind the fact that this couple are at a crowded party, where anyone could walk in on their filthy antics, it just makes the scene all the more arousing.

In the smoking area of the party, two brunette babes share a cigar - a very erotic sight indeed - and flirt with each other until a handsome bloke arrives on the scene and things get much more physical.

The two girls lavish attention on their muscley stud, and he must have a great time fucking both these sexy girls as they kiss and touch each other making for one very hot threesome.

Now we reach the grand finale, the clock strikes twelve, the new year begins and the clothes come off. It's the sexy dancing that really gets everyone in the mood this time and soon it's an all out orgy of decadent depravity and, of course, hardcore fucking of every variety. Blowjobs, rimming, butt sex and pussy eating are everywhere the camera takes us, as a crowd of party goers dance the night away and look on as our sexy couples go at it around a dinner table.

There's even a little fun with food as one guy smears cake over his cock for his lucky partner to lick up. The moans and groans fill the air as one dirty girl gathers a wine glass full of spunk and drinks the whole lot in one gulp. The rest of the cum - from the different guys - lands in several places (so one of them is bound to fit your spunk-shooting preferences) I spotted one girl getting her tight ass covered in cum, another has her pussy splattered with the sticky stuff, a third babe has her tits covered in spunk, which she then eagerly scoops up and swallows.

It's a fantastic end to a great movie, and I hope at least some of you went to New Year parties that were like this one!

Weird Fuckin' Sex 9: Sexual Oddities #1 from Gentlemen's Video
Reviewed by Solitaire

A motley crue of physical misfits form the cast of Sexual Oddities No. 1: Fat ladies, midgets, 18 inch dicks, football-sized breast implants, and a very polite-sounding English gent cum together in assorted ways for two hours of sometimes car-crash-style viewing.

The first scene features the fattest girl I've ever seen in porn. She has arms like sides of beef and roll upon roll of flab. Along with the cellulite are types of fat I've never seen before and can't begin to name. We're talking morbidly obese... As to the question of how she reaches round to wipe her arse, one camera shot suggests she doesn't bother. But her face is pretty, and her feet surprisingly small and delicate-looking. Her (normal-build) stud risks being crushed as she climbs on top but she bounce away with apparent ease, a mountain of wobbling flesh.

Another porky girl is in the third scene, though this time she's not quite so extremely obese. While still very fat, she carries her weight well, her skin glowing and rolling over itself in a sensual way. Her breasts are like watermelons, the size of her midget stud's head. His cock certainly isn't midget-sized though, and she greedily gobbles it down her throat. Throughout the scene they chat and joke with each other and the cameraman and seem to have a proper laugh. With his little hips, in doggy style he can get in between her giant butt cheeks easier than a normal-sized man could, and it's actually quite a hot scene, even making putting a condom on look erotic.

The midget/normal-sized duo is turned around for a scene with tiny superstar Bridget, interviewing a stud for a job which includes 'cock on call'. Watching her beautiful face suck his hard dick you forget she's a midget till the camera pans out. Just as the midget guy has a big regular dick, Bridget must have a regular-sized pussy, the way her stud's long cock slides in and out effortlessly.

There are two solo masturbation scenes. Blonde bombshell Nicki Hunter talks to camera in the first, lying out in the sunlight and showing us her plump pussy, swollen from a night of sexy dreams. We watch her wank herself off with a plastic plug which goes first in her pussy then her arse. Later on Miss Lola tells us she's all hot from watching porn and wants to fuck something. She sucks her own toes and fingers herself before sliding a big glass dildo into her pink cunt. The camera comes in for a great close-up where we see her face and body through the dildo as her pussy lips for a tight seal around it.

As for that polite English gent - he gets an arseful of strap-on courtesy of a blonde American. Possibly luckily for him, she doesn't look very experienced with strap-ons, and he doesn't get fucked as hard or deep as the equipment would allow. This makes it quite easy watching for any of you guys who are feeling curious but cautious about this kind of play.

Last up Mr 18 Inch and a busty friend compare equipment sizes - her tits and his dick. I reviewed one of his films once ( The 18 Inch Club ) where he didn't ever get fully hard or shoot, but here he gets much firmer and she can't resist seeing whether what doesn't fit in her mouth will fit in her cunt. This is after she wanks that monster cock between her giant tits.

If you're truly into weird sex this might all be a bit tame for you, but if you're a beginner or just fancying seeing something different, this'll fit the bill.

Young Harlots: Riding School from Harmony Films
Reviewed by James

First a bit of a qualifier- I knows what some of yous are thinking. Girls, horses, y’know, girls, HORSES, nudge nudge, wink wink. Well you can stop thinking that right now. Let me set you straight- there is no horse-fucking in this film. Actually straight is the wrong word; there’s plenty of girl-on-girl… but no bestiality! No! Wrong! If that’s your (feed)bag then you’re barking up the wrong tree. Or whinnying up the wrong paddock or whatever. Go away, get yourself checked and buy a new My Little Pony or something. Y’big oddball. This is for normal people. Normal people who like seeing sexy girls in school-girl outfits being drilled by three-odd guys admittedly. But normal. My normal.

The film opens with a taste of things to cum. (Oh, the punnery you get in these reviews) Hot girls in riding and school girl outfits taking lots of cock and each other. Win. We then have Deniska reading from her diary (Kinda. It’s not her voice. No-one called Deniska has a posh English accent.) when two off the staff come and wordlessly present their cocks to her and she gets right to work a mere 2 mins 30 in. She sucks hard and deep with lots of cock-in-cheek action. Despite being wordless you can tell that (at least one) of the guys is French as he gives plenty of “Yahs!” and “Oooo yah!” Rather than the more English “Yes” (or the very English “Gosh! That’s awfully nice! RaTHer!”) Deniska is soon stripped down (tie still on) and pussy fucked whilst she chokes down dick.

She gets DPed (Double Penetrated- remember it. Happens a lot in this film) in the ass and hairless pussy- lots of really explicit shots. The guys then pour oil into her ass and cunt before fingering her. God knows why they think she needs more lubrication at this stage but it looks hot when they make her strain to push it out of her holes. The oils get spread all over her hot body and her tits are slapped whilst she sucks more cock. Greasy. Just to add yet more fluid to the mix the guys finish by cumming over her pussy for her to lick up.

The next scene has our girls Angelika Black and Lucy Belle go for their first riding lesson. Both girls are proper stunning with great figures, tans and raven-black hair. Just so you know who’s who when you try and find them again (and you’ll want to) Angelika has the short dark hair and Lucy starts with hair in cute pigtails, though these get a bit bed, uh, stable-headed by the end.

Allegedly going for a riding lesson the pair are swiftly grabbed by their riding instructors for kissing, pussy licking and cock sucking. A LOT of cock-sucking with moans, spit, ball-licking, twin cocks in mouth, innovative use of the school tie- (look out for it) pretty much everything. And in the spirit of school competition Luck and Angellika have a “who can be the loudest competition with Lucy getting fucked as Angelika gets DPed. Just to make it more interesting the boys sometimes fill their mouths with dick. In the spirit of fairness and all.

Things end with the girls having a bit of fun with each other before getting 3 really messy loads of cum in their face, mouths and tits and licking it off each other for a really hot slutty finish.

It is well known (by me) that if you put two or more older school girls together they will lez it up. And not to break free of this fine stereotype Katie Fox- blond with short hair and Belicia- black hair and Claudia Rossi- dark brown hair, get down to it in the next scene. All the girls are very hot and use fingers, tongues, toys and lots of lube. This is TOTALLY what I imagined happened in Enid Blighton books in between chapters. Midnight muff-feasts. Brilliant.

Next scene has black haired Anaya looking scorching in tight white jodhpurs and a riding outfit. She doesn’t have it on for long though as her ‘riding instructor’ whips her clothes off and pushes her down for a blow-job and some anal action. Y’know given that its set outside and he had a rug all prepared I think that was his plan all along, the cunning fiend. Its pretty hardcore with Anaya getting slapped around the face with his cock and taking it deep in all holes. Riding instructors, eh? Never ones for stable relationships (Stable? Horses? No? Fine, please yourselves!)

Lucy Belle makes a welcome return next scene as she takes on two guys in the kitchen. She looks really sexy in nothing but white bra and school tie (I don’t know if these girls CAN take those ties off. They never seem to…) bouncing up and down on a cock before getting taken in both the ass and pussy. The boys really work her over and there’s rarely a moment when she hasn’t got two cocks in her. She gives great head, managing to moan with a cock deepin her throat and another in her ass. That’s some skills, right there. Lucy has a lovely tanned body, pert natural boobs and a shaven pussy- all of which get covered in cum which she licks up, rubs in and plays with while looking deep into the camera. Cracking.

My God! There’s some actual riding in this scene! Only for about 2 seconds before we switch to the lovely Katie Fox being fucked outside but still. Riding! That’ll keep the Truth In Porn Titles people at bay. Anyway Katie get bent over for a spanking and a some fingering before pushing her knickers to one side and sitting on her instructors cock. They fuck hard and she gives some really deep-throat action. As is par for the race-course she takes cock in her ass a lot and isn’t afraid of a lot of ass-to-mouth cock sucking. They 69 on the grass and Katie gets a load of jizz in her pussy.

And if all that that wasn’t enough the bonus scenes feature Angelika Black giving an upside-down blow-job! Seriously! The bit has no sex but cock-sucking like you’ve never seen. Brilliant. Following that there’s an ‘interview’ with Deniska. Interview in this case being a euphemism for extended blow job. It’s not as athletic as the previous one but she looks cute and its certainly a bonus. Finally we see an out-take from the lesbian scene and then… a girl pissing. Oooo-kay. Not how I’d have finished but there you go.

Overall Young Harlots- Riding School has a couple of new spins on fairly well trodden ground. But lets face it; hot chicks in school-girl outfits is always a good thing (and if you don’t think so then this certainly ain’t the film for you!) and certainly a good thing when the girls are as gorgeous as this lot. Its all very hard with lots of anal and aggressive fucking and not a lot of talking and can get a bit same-ey but with 6 scenes (plus bonus!) you certainly get a lot of bang for your buck.

Gag N Shag from Private
Reviewed by Stuart

Moiré Candy are a much praised new Prague based production company co-owned by directors Max Candy and Lois Moiré whose entry into the world of high end porn has been backed some of the biggest and most influential names in the sex industry - European super-label Private, French producer Marc Dorcel and legendary director Michael Ninn. With names like these willing to take a chance on such a new outfit they must have something going for them, so let's see what they're made of...

Set out like a casting session, Gag 'n' Shag wastes no time in getting right to the point. In under a minute (that's with intro credits) we see blonde beauty Belicia choking on cock, her watering eyes making her eyeliner stream down her face from the off, a sight I personally find very fucking sexy. It's a good start...Five minutes of face fuck action later and her stud is dropping a load over her face, this is some fast paced action indeed is my first impression. We then see her freshened up, sporting a beautiful virginal white dress and provocatively stroking herself before another – or possibly the same stud - is brought out to see how well this girl can fuck. Oral pleasures are exchanged and soon enough she is being pumped full of cock while balancing on one leg, her guy gripping the other while he continuously thrusts away at her in a pure selfish man-fuck kind of way. Cue reverse cowgirl and some nice spread pussy shots and she's soon being slammed hard in the ass, still in this mainstay of porno positions and rubbing her pussy all the while making sure she gains every bit of pleasure she can from this raunchy fuck session. She takes another mouthful of cum when director Max enters the shot telling her 'Nice job' and stamping her forehead with the words 'Max Candy Approved'.

Czech brunette Claudia Adams is up next, kicking things off with a brief solo workout but it's not long before her boy-toy is brought in to test her cocksucking skills. Again, the make-up is running down her cheeks – I'm beginning to really like these Moiré Candy guys – and just as quickly as the previous scene, a faceful of spunk is delivered over her well fucked face. More tease follows and then the sex starts in the same position as Belicia's scene, followed by a standard cowgirl dick riding session, Claudia working that throbbing fuck rod in expert fashion. In the closing stages of the scene, she's bent over and taking it in the ass, her man stabbing away at her gaping hole until he climaxes over her smooth, pretty face.

Sexy Slovak Claudia Rossi takes her throat fucking like a pro in the third scene and is then put through her paces via a good seeing to in both holes, obviously enjoying the hard penetrating thrusts of her hunky stud going by her super-sexy groans and by how wet her neatly trimmed pussy is. This is one hot scene where it comes across that both performers are genuinely into each other, something lacking in a lot of porn but certainly not here.

After the opening three scenes, I'm itching for more and am sure any hardened fan of well shot, intense gonzo will be too, and that's before one of my favourite European performers, Stacey Silver, whose scene I've been looking forward to immensely, shows off what makes her one of the world's best but somewhat underrated performers. The blonde uber-babe begins her session with a double-ended dildo crammed, first in her pussy, and then into both holes leading to her serving up a horny head-job that soon ends with her taking in a mouthful of cum for her troubles. She's then seen sat down on a chair receiving a finger fucking, administering another quality blowjob and enthusiastically taking a two hole workout and a second helping of fresh spunk, dribbling it back onto her man's cock and gobbling it all up again.

In total there is eight scenes, all of them following the casting session theme, which seems a bit strange given that most of the performers are pretty well known but we can let this slide given the quality of this flick. No detail is missed out, the action is close-up, intense and above all very fucking hot...constantly. Even though every scene follows the same formula, it never gets boring. For an introduction to one of the best new wave of European directors, any hardened fan of gonzo smut owes it to themselves to take a look into the world of Moiré Candy. And these guys do full feature plot based films too, I can't wait to see more, and am certain you'll soon feel the same

The Best Of Renee Richards from MSS Interactive
Reviewed by Stuart

Brunette beauty Renee Richards is one of the country's top performers, and going by this compilation of her best bits, it's not hard to see why! Over six scenes we see her suck on huge cocks, eat pussy and ass, indulge in anal sex, steamy lesbian sessions and threesome romps, piss, get covered in cum, and a whole lot more! Fans of Renee are in for a treat with this release from MSS Interactive so here's a bit of what you can expect to see...

In the first scene, Chuck Loads is wanking away to a porno when he decides to give the UK Vice Girls a ring to order a bit of posh totty. He's in luck and shortly after his call, a scantily clad Renee pays him a visit and begins teasing him with her gorgeous butt right from the off. “So what would you like me to do then?”, she seductively asks and Chuck lets her know that he wants her to get on her knees and suck his cock, a request she happily obliges. She slowly strokes, licks and sucks his solid shaft. The action here is seen in all it's glory thanks to the POV camera work and there's plenty footage of Renee's arse filling up the screen for good measure too! Chuck generously returns the oral foreplay and gets to work on her pussy with his tongue and fingers before she is bent over while he decides to give her a good rimming. The fucking begins doggystyle, and after one more position, Chuck is shooting his first load all over Renee's tits and stomach which she gratefully smears into her skin. Chuck is far from done as Renee climbs onto his cock for an in-your-face reverse cowgirl workout, and the randy pair continue to shag each other senseless. To finish, Renee is on her back as Chuck speedily pounds away at her until he fires a second load of spunk all over her, which again, she smears right in!

After a pussy licking and double-ended dildo girly session – which sees Renee and her fuck buddy break for a pee in the bathtub before getting back into the action – we see a just awake Renee hurriedly get ready for work, stopping to take a piss and have a quick girl-wank in her haste. Soon dressed in her maids outfit, Renee heads down to see the Mistress of the house, who doesn't seem to happy with Renee's punctuality, making her get on a the kitchen table to receive a spanking upon her late arrival! A car horn honks outside signalling that the Master is home. Renee is told to go outside and suck his cock and very obediently, she rushes off to do just that! Back in the house, Renee dishes out a tongue workout to her demanding Mistress which both girls seem to be totally enjoying. Renee gobbles on the Master's cock some more, preparing him to enter the foxy blonde Mistress as Renee hovers around the area of penetration giving oral treats to both these randy fuckers while they shag. By now it's Renee's time for Masters cock and she takes it from behind with her face firmly planted in pussy as she is banged away at. Master – who is cheeky stud Pascal by the way – finishes off by blasting a load of spunk out which sploshes all over her arsehole and pussy ending a raunchy threeway scene.

Next up, the office girls need a computer fixed and the new IT guy is called upon who soon ends up fixing more than just the computer! After an all action threesome, which sees Renee and her buddy get shagged senseless and showered in spunk by the well-endowed Sensi, blonde cutie Karlie Simon is next to sample Renee's sexual delights...

Karlie Simon is acting the innocent in this scene and informs Renee that she's never even kissed a girl. After Renee smooches around her lips and tits for a bit, Karlie is soon treated to a spot of pussy licking courtesy of this seasoned pro's tongue. Spinning around to enter a 69 position, both girls are soon munching away on each others clits. “It doesn't look like a virgin arse does it?” Renee says as the camera focuses on Karlie's scrumptious arsehole while a finger from Renee slips inside it followed by a large black dildo which slowly probes her ass as her other hand works her pussy. Renee dons a strap on and after having Karlie suck it off for a bit it's not long before it's being thrust up her pussy, the dildo still planted firmly in Karlie's ass the whole time. Some jackhammer pounding follows with Karlie bent over on the bed, Renee only stopping to lick some more clit. Finally, a huge red double ender ends the session but horny Renee isn't done with pussy yet, she's still in for a hot pussy workout when she visits a kinky sex shop in the next scene!

For a non-stop fix of one of the hottest performers in the biz, you can't go wrong with this. The Best Of Renee Richards is sure to leave fans of this Brummie babe drooling for some time yet!

Mania: The Secret Of The Green Tenticle from MMG Anime
Reviewed by James

Ok. Quick question. Are cartoons sexy? Have you, for example, ever been aroused by the Cadbury's Bunny? Did you harbour a secret desire for Cheetara off-of ThunderCats? Did your thoughts get fruity when the Little Mermaid got legs? If the answer to any of these is yes then read on. If, on the other hand you find it deeply odd that dancing ink and paint lines could hold a candle to real chicks then you perhaps wanna stop reading here. Oh, and if you found the girl car off the Transformers sexy? Then you’re just fuckin’ weird, dude.

Mania: Secret of the Green Tentacle is a fairly generic example of Hentai. Hentai, in case you didn’t know is the Japanese word for “abnormality” and we in the West have picked it up as a slang term for “Jesus fucking Christ, what is it with the Japanese and cartoons of girls being triple-fucked by tentacle monsters? What the fuck, man?” If my half-serious comment gives you some idea of what’s in store then your powers of deduction are strong, Holmes.

We open with some long green dick-like tentacles swimming towards the shore. Ominous. Then we see our “heroes”. Mania is your typical hentai-girl; she has massive balloon-like breasts that defy gravity, tiny waist, huge eyes, a Barbie-spine (a spine that can support such an improbable body) and hair of unnatural hue. Less typically she’s a black girl - by that I mean she has the right skin pigment as the rest of her features match the ethnicity of no woman alive. Her very-very white newly-wed husband, John, is a useless geek. The pair get shipwrecked and both attempt to forage for food.

At this stage, six minutes in you’ll be wondering several things “Why is the dubbing so rubbish? Why do they keep splicing sub-CGI into the animation? And where the hell is the actual porn?” Well, I can at least answer the latter point as 6min 20 Mania becomes overcome and starts to touch herself and suck dick. “Hilariously” John runs off appalled but Mania continues to touch herself unabated before being captured by a gang of women (some that look creepily young) who bind her down to be, you guessed it, triple fucked by some tentacles. Tentacle mushrooms in fact. Odd. Its usually monsters. Meantime the “Amazons” (I though Amazons were supposed to be huge?) start getting it on lesbian style.

This basically is the nub- animated chick being tentacle fucked; held up by multiple animated penii which shove themselves into her orifices, whilst other cartoon babes finger and lick each other. It's all pretty graphic with shots of penetration, fisting, DP and multiple-tentacle-ejaculation (seriously). If that sounds good then cool, if not: this ain’t your genre, pal.

Scene two directly carries on with John being pursued by amorous Amazons before finding his wife. More crappy CGI and awful, awful dialogue later the pair get rescued... but by pirates (you can tell. One has a hook). Gasp! Around four mins in they start gang fucking Mania (whilst arguing in a hilarious way) before ending with another Japanese favourite- Bukkake. Or, if you’re not familiar with that term, multiple facial ejaculation. Thrown in the cell Mania and John finally get it on for a good long while before cunningly escaping (you can find out how!) to the bad comedy/lousy CGI ending.

Even ignore the animated aspect, the splicing of sex/comedy/unwillingness that is a feature of many of the sex scenes doesn’t really work for me, though it’s a reoccurring feature in a loooooot of Hentai movies so clearly very popular in Japan. The film’s pretty short, only forty minutes long and the production values are pretty typical- the animation is ok, but not great, the jokes don’t really translate and the voice cast isn’t the best. Tentacle-sex became a big thing in hentai a while ago as it managed to skirt the “no penile penetration” rule at the time by replacing cocks with cock-shaped tentacles attached to various monsters. Cunning, no? These days such censorship is gone but the culture remains. Basically if you already enjoy this sort of thing then this is a fairly standard middle of the road film. And if you’re a Hentai virgin then this would be a good place to start. Just don’t get too into it or you’ll start strapping squids onto yourself during sex. And that doesn’t end well, trust me.

Cow Girls from Wicked City Films.
Reviewed by Jade

It seems the 'cunt-ry' girls as it's so aptly put in the film description sums up this assortment of blondes that like to get fucked in the barn, or the sofa, or by the pig sty...Ok you get the point. These girls go out and while they are getting fucked the animals have a good perv - is that even allowed? Anyhoo, let's try and find this needle in a haystack and see what the movie has to offer.

Now of course when we put horses and farms together we assume that the girls will be into horse riding...Mhm, not in this movie. Unless the dude that is hung like a horse can be counted as horse. Just a side note for the record, a girl who claims she's a stable hand but is actually wear 7 inch PVC boots is most likely NOT a stable hand. Handsome stud (not the horse, the actual man) starts by asking girl if she likes to ride, obviously being blonde and gorgeous she's innocent right? Wrong. When asked to sit down on the hale bays and show 'her form' she does that sexy ass sticking out thing and it gets the film started - soon both girls are naked and grunting and giving and receiving some oral. When I said this guy was hung like a horse I actually meant it, dear lord how she managed to fit the whole thing in her mouth is beyond me. Of course after the oral pleasantries were exchanged the three of them experimented with lots of different positions on this bale of hay while horses looked on and wondered when they were getting their feed. Very sexy scene but be warned, the girls are somewhat pierced and tattooed if and that spoils your lovely imagine of cute blonde stable girls then I advise you to cover your eyes at the dirty parts.

After a hard days working and giving the cows a good milking, this filthy blonde has been invited back to give the owner of the cows a good milking. She removes her clothes and shows us that she doesn't wear any underwear (is that legal?) and then gets straight into business - she doesn't waste any time in locking lips with his cock and manages to suck him off for some time, this wasn't just some little willy, full blown stallion this guy was! There's no cheesy music so you hear little miss no pants sucking and slurping and gagging on his huge cock! We get about 9 minutes of cocksucking before the fucking comes into play. After a variety of your typical hardcore positions we get the blonde lying on the couch and taking his white milk all over her tits.

The forth scene goes for the 'romp in the hay' cliché as a pretty blonde girl in a riding hat gets down and dirty with one of the stable boys, I'm not particularly sure if that's in the job description but I doubt either of them will be suing. From oral to fucking to anal. That's how this scene goes. This has to be my favorite one of them all. This dirty blonde really does enjoy this fuck, sometimes it's hard to tell but there is no mistaking this one - she's fucking enjoying it. While the cows sleep in the background she has her asshole pounded and then takes a face load of spunk. Sounds about right?

I think if you have a fondness for girls in jodhpurs or other sorts of farmyard wear then this is the type of movie. Of course if you're into filthy blonde sluts giving it rough with a few hunky men this movie will also tickle your fancy. It's a winner all round really.

Sophiesticated from 21sextury
Reviewed by Stuart

Being a huge fan of Hungarian hot thing Sophie Moone, I was more than happy to take a look at 21sextury's Sophieisticated. Actually, I'm generally happy to check out anything from 21sextury seeing as their titles are always filled to the brim with ludicrously beautiful European girls, who just happen to be cock-craving super-sluts too. You wont see Sophie fucked into a frenzy and being doused in dick juice here, this fair lady prefers the gentler sex, but you will see her in no less than six scenes of lesbian and threeway action. You'll have to settle for seeing the other stunners having their cock sockets thrust at and enjoying protein-packed facials, and it's no bad thing...

Opening with a full body shot of shapely Sophie in a sexy black outfit she tells us her intentions in her uber-sexy accent, “Let's find out other couples' bedroom secrets”, before declaring, “I'm gonna peep on this horny couple”. The blonde Budapest babe opens a door to reveal a couple going at it in the bedroom, and it's certainly getting her juices flowing. Not one for being shy, she joins them on the bed as the girl is taking a dick from behind and proceeds to caress her breasts as she takes thrust after thrust. By now with her desirable Buda-breasts out, Sophie's moist clit gets plenty of attention from the girl, delivering breath-taking cunnilingus as she has a cock rammed up her ass. With her pussy suitably pleasured, Sophie dons her strap-on, squeezing her plastic cock straight in the girls ass as the guys meaty member takes a sucking. With Sophie still on her ass, the lucky stud moves from mouth to pussy to tag team this horny Euro chick with Sophie in an outstanding DP ending with the girl's mouth and body being showered in spunk.

Sophie spotted Jane while she was shooting and can't wait to “try her out”. The couple stroke each others clothed bodies, their lips meet and boobs are revealed and Sophie is soon demonstrating her well-crafted pussy eating skills as foxy Brunette Jane lays across two tall stools, blissfully moaning each time Sophie's tongue attacks her clit. No oral favour ever goes unreturned in a lesbian scene and adhering to this strict policy, Jane enjoys a taste of Sophie's vaginal fruits. The second half of this scene features another exchange, this time with fingers as both Jane and then Sophie bend over and fill each other up with three fingers which slide in and out of each others moist holes. There's not a lot of variety in this scene, which would usually suck, but fuck do these two stunners make up for it...

That staple porno location of choice, the pool, is the setting for our next of Sophie's carnal adventures where she meets with a dark blonde Euro cutie who soon distracts this viewer from things like erm, sets. Much more welcome is the sight of these two lusty babes snogging and fondling each other until Sophie dives down and gets her tongue working on yet another fine pussy. It surfaces that the couple are not alone when a pervy stud comes out of the nearby sauna, takes a brief dip in the pool, and soon enough, dips his throbbing length into the second girls mouth as Sophie continues to lick and finger her pink. After having her face fucked, the playmate is on her back taking inches of black cock as she sees to Sophie's pussy. Doggystyle is the next position manoeuvre, the girls' face firmly planted in between Sophie's legs as she takes cock like a champ. A well aimed spraying of spunk lands directly in her mouth and this scene is done! Now, if only this happened down the local pool.

The final half of the movie is taken up by Sophie indulging in some stunning footplay with a fellow blonde babe, plunging toes into each others pussies as they rub their clits, bringing themselves to a body-melting orgasm followed by Sharka Blue, who can't decide if she likes real or fake dick better so Sophie and a well hung stud help her decide! The guy is straight into Sharka's ass and soon Sophie is joining in for the films second DP, looks like this girl still hasn't made up her mind which she likes best, but she had a lot of fun regardless! Finally, there's some outdoor pool action, although this time there's no man ready to get a piece of the pie, it's all about the girly love as they treat each other to a dildo workout they won't soon forget!

Sophieisticated is a no-nonsense porno that gives it to you straight. Minimum dialogue, maximum action and a cast of dirty dreamgirls that'll keep you hooked from start to finish. Get yourself acquainted with Sophie Moone and friends, you won't regret it!

The Instigator from Monarch XXX
Reviewed by Stuart

The credits roll showing the usual montage of film content but originally interspersed with footage of a young American band playing their track Instigator, a rather hideous piece of rock music that in the US no doubt classifies as 'alternative', but hey, this is porno and I won't go into all that here. The credits do make this film look a little self-consciously 'alt', but don't let that put you off cos this film features some extremely hot chicks indeed, namely self-confessed, ass whore Hillary Scott and new face Moxxie Maddron, who surely is the world's next big alt-star if there is any taste in the world...

Tattooed Moxxie, a dark haired beauty, opens the show and wastes no time in delivering a cracking blowjob to her meat-head stud, cramming every inch of his cock down her throat as he counts down from twenty, making her gag once the countdown is complete. Moxxie is then seen laying on her back taking a brief finger fucking then being pumped full of throbbing cock, letting out a lot of super sexy sounds before she is bent over and slammed form behind, his foot firmly planted on her face, pinning down her head and then she's on her feet being choked, slapped and asked “Wanna get fucked more?”. Of course she does, and an anal workout soon ensues followed by a cum shot splashing her face with the majority of the sticky stuff landing on her lengthy pony tail. It's a rough scene and a very good opener though it would have been nice to see a stud more suited to Moxxie's look rather than the over used shaven headed oaf we must endure instead. Where's James Dean or punk rock stud Zak Sabbath when you need them?!

Scene two opens with blonde mega-babe Hillary Scott pole dancing to a song declaring the words “White Trash” as two guys and Moxxie perve on her sexy moves. Moxie is feeling horny soon enough and gets to work sucking a mohican sporting stud off while Hillary steps down from her sensual dance to take care of the other guy. Watching two chicks as hot as these sharing screen space chowing down on the guys is quite a sight to behold but greedy Hillary soon puts a stop to this and takes centre stage, alternating her headjob between the two guys before she has one inside her pussy while the other is towered over her with his dick in her mouth. Moxxie is left to entertain herself and masturbates in the background while Hillary takes her two cock treat. Mohican boy soon takes her ass while the other gets blown by Moxxie in the background. The shots are well done and we're able to see both girls in all their glory filling up the screen, a great foursome that ends in both girls swapping cum in a very sexy manner.

Moxxie and Lindsey Meadows stumble upon a guy sleeping on a bench and decide to have their filthy way with him, Moxxie gets his dick straight in her mouth giving seductive looks to the camera while he fondles and sucks on Lindsey's gorgeous breasts. The seated stud is having his cock rode by Lindsey once Moxxie is finished getting him hard and ready, first in a cowgirl position then in the reverse of this position, the close-up action showing off this stunning girls figure to the max. She's then bent over a dumpster taking it hard, then laying on her back taking deep thrusts from her lucky stud. Moxxie has been out of shot while all this is going on but returns to take the fruits of Lindsey's labours - a healthy load of spunk spilled into her mouth.

Moxxie calls up long haired stud Nick Manning to arrange a viewing of his house and takes a late night trip to peek his pad. In my opinion Nick Manning is perhaps the most irritating man in porn, so I wasn't pleased to see him make an appearence. After showing her around the rooms he turns to the camera, puts on a comedy serious face and declares “On your knees, and polish my helmet, skank,” in a way I found completely cringe-worthy. Nice to hear the word skank in a US porno though I suppose...Of course, Moxxie does exactly as she is told and gets to work on his cock before oral pleasures are returned and he is munching on her pussy. Moxxie seems to be enjoying it nonetheless and is next seen laying on the bed taking his rod, then in cowgirl followed by the reverse style, Manning uttering “stuff it full” as Moxxie lays on her front, Nick's hand clasped around the back of her neck pinning her down.

Moxxie looks great throughout the scene but I don't think I could watch it again thanks to Manning completely turning me off while watching one of the hottest chicks I've seen in porn recently get fucked by this fool. I'm sure he's a really nice guy off set but, for me, he really needs to stop being such a dick. Phew, hard work sitting through that one...

The final scenes features Moxxie and a face I haven